Whenever
by adropletofjupiter
Summary: JP have spent a lot of time together and Joey starts to fall for him, unrequited love, or is it? When Pacey has some difficult times she is the only one who is there to pick up the pieces, and returns the favour when she has a bad experience,CH4
1. Chapter 1

**Whenever You Need Me **

**  
Chapter: 1**

**What took you so long?  
**

Disclaimer: I do not own any characters and as much as I would love to own Joshua Jackson and be able to do with him whatever I want, unfortunately I can't. So please don't sue me as I'm just a poor little white girl, well woman, with nothing better to do with her time, plus if you were to sue me I think I only have about enough to buy a happy meal lol.

Summary: well basically this takes place in the middle of season three. Dawson and Joey are friends again and Pacey forgave Andie for cheating on him. Kind of self-explanatory really. I kinda made Dawson out to be quite a dark figure in this story in some parts, because personally I hate his character, the whiny little man he is. Joey and Pacey have spent a lot of time together and Joey starts to fall for him, unrequited love, or is it? When Pacey has some difficult times she is the only one who is there to pick up the pieces, and returns the favour when she has a bad experience, but will it make him fall into her arms?

It was a Sunday night and Joey was sitting on her dock taking in the gorgeous view and sight of the spectacular Capeside night, a chill ran through her body as the cold air hit her face. It was cold, but beautiful never the less. She touched her cheeks, they were cold and her face was red from the blast of the wind off the creek but she actually liked it. She looked out at the marvelous Capeside night and smiled gently. Even though she prayed Capeside would not be where she spent her future she still loved it. It was her home, wherever she may be it was home and it was where her heart belonged. She looked out over the creek and saw a faint reflection of the moon in the water. She smiled as she remembered the man in the moon. The man always looking after her whenever times were bad she would think about him and talk to him. However, for once things weren't that bad, the house was turning into a successful bed and breakfast. It wasn't busy at the moment because it wasn't in season but they did have a few guests who stayed over for a night or two. The restaurant had been re-opened thanks to the work of Pacey who had worked almost day and night to fix it for them. He really cared about her and her sister, he always had. And even though they bantered she always loved and respected him. She smiled at the thought of a lame joke he had told her yesterday, something vulgar about blondes, which she had thought, was particularly funny since he was dating one. As she thought of him she found herself sensing his presence behind her. He always did have a way of making her do that. Thinking of him, making her realize it was him standing behind her she smiled faintly at him, relaxed and tired she saw him wink at her cheekily. He always did that, never meant anything but he always did, for as long as she could remember. His eyes winked but his face was dark, he had a bruise on his face, he was always getting into trouble, into fights or just being plain clumsy. That boy was always walking into, tripping over or getting hit by something.

"Hey" he said sadly, kicking an imaginary can on the ground, his eyes were dark and his voice and shaky. Something was wrong and she knew it. Instead of smiling at her with his usual, 'How's it hangin'?' He just said, "How's life at planet Potter this fine evening?" he asked, trying to sound characteristic of him and his normal tone but did not quite manage it. She could sense something wrong, but didn't want him to know just how worried she was about him. He would just make her feel stupid and she knew he would just tell her she was over reacting and tease her again about caring about him.

"What's up your ass tonight?" she asked him with attitude, she had always known when something was wrong. She could sense something wrong, but didn't want him to know just how worried she was about him. He would just make her feel stupid and she knew he would just tell her she was over reacting and tease her again about caring about him.

"Well hello to you too," he commented walking away from her, he could tell she was so not in the mood, or so he thought. She was always so cold to him on the outside. Sure, she was warm at times but she was usually cold. Not cold hearted though, never cold hearted, he could always sense the warmth in her eyes even when she was cold to him. He decided he couldn't be bothered with this tonight, couldn't be bothered with the Josephine Potter attitude and decided to leave her alone before they got into a fight. He hated fighting with her, because he always walked away feeling bad about being so mean to his best friend.

"Sorry," Joey said, sighing, she grabbed his hand and pulled him down to sit beside her. He wasn't just going to walk away tonight, otherwise if her feelings were founded about something being wrong she would definitely feel guilty if she hadn't talked to him about it. He was her best friend after all. He had been moping for weeks about something, some information he wouldn't disclose but she intended on getting to the bottom of it. "Just you've been moping around for days now and I'm sick of whenever I ask, you just ignoring me so tell me what's wrong or show me a smile," she said, not with warmth, just frustration. She meant warmth, she truly did but she had this conversation with him on a daily basis for weeks now and was sick of it. "Want to talk?" she quizzed him. He was quiet, too quiet. No remarks, no jokes, no conversation. Nothing. Something was definitely seriously wrong.

"Mind if I just sit a while?" he asked, quietly, his voice was quiet like a small boy, but rough too. His words were jagged and as a large sharp sigh exited his mouth, she needed to talk, she nudged him hoping it would spark a question, a remark, a joke, hell even a jibe, just something, anything from those full lips of his. They moved so often usually but tonight. Not a twitch, but he was dying to talk she knew it. She looked at him; she really looked at him. Question in her eyes searching his for emotion. They say that eyes were a window to a person's soul, it was certainly true with Pacey, it's hard not to read his eyes. They give away everything, she looked at him some more, he didn't notice, he just looked out over the water with melancholy. There wasn't just awkwardness in his eyes but there was a hurt and a pain she had never seen before, deeper somehow. There had been a lot about him she had just started to see lately.

"So what's up?" she asked softer than before. "Why you here?" she forced him to look at her as her eyes burnt through his skin, he could feel it. That look, that Joey Potter look, as her forehead wrinkled and the question appeared in her eyes he knew he had to say something before she went to that angry Joey, the one who always demanded answers.

"Honestly?" he asked, looking at her, shrugging his shoulders. He wanted to answer her questioning eyes but couldn't, he didn't quite know why he had come here at night to her dock. Automatic pilot had taken over, he had been here so much lately he felt like it was his safe haven, a place he could go where she wouldn't analyze like Dawson, or ramble like Andie, or joke like Jen. Just pure, pure safety and sanctity. "I don't know why I'm here," he said thinking out loud. "Just kinda kept walking, had no where to go and just felt myself drifting here, feet just seem to want to come here," he said solemnly. He could tell she wanted to know more. He sighed. "My dad threw me out," he said sadly. He had to tell her, he had no option but to tell her. He had been dying to anyway, plus there were only a certain amount of nights you could sleep in a car. His back ached, his neck was knotted and his bruised rib was really starting to hurt on the hard seats.

"What?" she was taken aback by his comment, this she wasn't expecting. Nothing this serious, she turned to him seriously, even more question in her deep brown eyes. "What happened?" she asked putting her arm around his waist. "When did he throw you out?" she asked nervously. He jumped when her hand came into contact with his back and she felt it. A groan escaped his mouth, a painful groan and she pulled back sensing she was hurting him.

"Well," he let out a sigh and turned to her, she had, thankfully, removed her hand from his bruised waist, usually, he wouldn't mind but the pain was killing him and he hadn't taken any pain killers yet. He was all out of them and in a great deal of pain. "Me and dad had a fight. I was meant to be in by eleven, because he wanted to talk to everybody about something and he..." Pacey stuttered. He wasn't sure how to say this without it seeming too serious, but it was serious, it had been since he was eight years old. "My curfew is usually one so I totally forgot and I came in at half past one. He was pretty mad said something about disrespect and then just said he was sick of me." His mind thought back to that night. He had really been hurt by his father's cruel words. "He said that I was loser, a delinquent and that he was ashamed to call me his son." He felt Joey's hand rub his shoulders, comforting him. That's what he needed, a shoulder to cry on, and not a person to answer back to him. "Then I told him I was sick of him always putting me down and then he just threw me out," he said sadly looking at her, her face was full of question.

"When did he do this? Tonight?" she questioned, this guy needed a shoulder right now, and she wasn't going to give it to him without the whole story. She needed to know what he was dealing with first, he looked away from her gaze and that's when she sensed it. This wasn't a new problem. "Not tonight?" she asked him, he was silent but he shook his head. "Yesterday?" No answer. "Friday?" she asked him again and he stayed silent. This was ridiculous. "Not tonight, not yesterday, not Friday then when?" she asked. She was curious and a little annoyed he hadn't told her. "When?" she repeated, she heard him whisper something but didn't catch the sound. She thought she heard him say a week ago, but that can't have been right. "What?" she asked. "I didn't catch that". 

"A week ago, last Sunday night," he replied, gulping down a huge lump in his throat as her eyes grew wide and shocked, he took her hand and rubbed her knuckles. "I'm okay really, I'm managing," he reassured her, she pulled her hands away from him hastily and stood up. 'Uh oh,' he thought, she was not happy.

"A week!" she said, almost shouting. "A week!" she repeated. "You have seen me every day at school, all Friday night, four study sessions during the week, not to mention yesterday when you came and fixed the heater, you had plenty time to tell me and you didn't. You've been homeless for a week and you didn't tell me. Isn't it the kinda thing you mention?" she rambled. She couldn't believe this man. She shook her head and put her hands on her hips. "I can't believe you didn't tell me. I thought we were friends, Pacey. I thought you could have told me before now." She was angry and she knew she shouldn't be. How could she not pick up on something so bad? She wasn't just angry at him but at herself too.

"I'm sorry" he said standing up to look at her, he was a little upset that she didn't seem to care, she only cared that something was going on little Miss Joey Potter wasn't aware of. That she had missed out on some juicy gossip another thing to end to the endless lists of disappointments. "Well what am I supposed to say?" he questioned her loudly, his voice was hinted with sarcasm as he relayed a conversation he could have had with her. "Oh hey, Jo. How are you? You want sugar in your tea? Would you like honey? The Florida red wings beat the New York Rangers six to three and oh by the way I'm homeless!" he almost yelled, but calmed down. "I couldn't tell you," he sighed, he had surprised himself with the outburst he had just made. So surely it had surprised her. "I'm sorry," he sighed, her eyes were getting full and he could almost sense the heat in them, the tears. He hated seeing her like this, he cared too much about her to see her cry. "I just, I didn't know how to tell you." He waited for her response, he knew she was upset, but he needed her not to hate him right now. So he grabbed her hand back again and held it softly, playing with her fingers uneasily.

"You told me you felt like you could tell me anything" she said. She was hurt. "Why the hell couldn't you tell me? I would have understood," she was calm now, still hurt, but calmer, trying to understand. She didn't take her hand away from his, she couldn't bear to, and she was enjoying the warmth it was causing, it caused her to relax a little. She was being a little harsh and she knew it. He gave him an apologetic look, to make up for her outburst and he seemed to nod and accept it.

"How could I Jo?" he questioned her, his eyes were hot and he could feel tears forming, he wiped them stubbornly, he was going to let her see him cry. His father always said that men never cry. "How could I tell you that my father, the beloved, respected, can't-do-anything-wrong sheriff hates his own son?" He turned from her, he couldn't look her in the eyes, not like this, he couldn't let her see the pain. He continued, he felt his voice shaking, trying to hide it, his voice got rough. "That I'm as much a failure as he thought, that I let him hit me. I let him hit me since I was eight years old. That I'm a disappointment and I'm such a terrible person I can't even keep the love of my own god damned father." He couldn't stop the tears that were falling down his cheeks and he couldn't stop his lip from trembling or even his heart from breaking. He couldn't stop any of it, and he had no control anymore.

"You're none of those things, Pacey," Joey said. She couldn't believe his view of himself. "I can't even comprehend why you would feel that way." She said walking to him and pulling him to her in a hug, he responded after a moment and hugged her back. "I'm not even going to tell you how amazing you are because you already know how I feel," she said seriously. She couldn't think much, she was numb. She didn't know what to do. She can't remember seeing him cry since third grade when he fell out of a tree and broke his leg. He sat down again pulling her down with him, she was surprised as he smiled weakly and looked at her, his eyes were still full of tears and her heart broke for him, he was only seventeen and to him his life was worthless. It doesn't matter that she didn't think so, because he did and as much as she told him he never quite believed it. But why would he when he had been neglected and put down his whole life?

"I know what you're thinking," he said against her skin, his tears still steadily falling from his eyes, he couldn't stop them and didn't want to now that she didn't seem to care, his crying didn't bother her. "I'm a wuss. That I can't stand a little rejection." He shook his head, "I've been just thinking about it Jo, stewing in it for a week. I sit every night in my truck," he started at the sky wistfully. "I lie awake staring at the rain, or the stars or the moon or the clouds or, or whatever is there. Y'know the seats are hard, it's cold and I can't sleep. I went to Andie and she just shouted at me for letting him throw me out." He paused and looked to Joey, his tears had subsided. "I felt bad, I lied, I told her I'd gone back the next day and everything was okay. I can't have her disappointed in me, that look in her eyes that said 'I could do better than you,'" he swallowed a lump in his throat, fearing the tears again.

"I'm sure she doesn't feel that way, Pacey," Joey said taking his face between her hands. "It's not possible for her to feel that way, she loves you," Joey said, she didn't actually like Andie. Never had. She had cheated on him and he had forgiven her and neither had she. She couldn't forgive her for what she had done to him and how she had broken his heart.

"I never got over it y'know," Pacey said looking at her, his comment was out the blue but she knew who he was talking about. "I forgave her, but I didn't forget. If she loved me she wouldn't have done it and if I was enough for her, or good enough for her or just, even, a tiny bit worth her then she wouldn't have done it." He paused. "And you don't think she thinks that, huh?" he asked her harshly, tears threatened his eyes as they stung, they stung just like someone had thrown pepper into his eyes. His eyes glistened, but he held it back, he didn't like to think about what he was thinking about, the things Andie had said the week before when they had a huge fight about pizza, nothing but pizza. "Do you know what she told me last week?" he asked her and she shook her head. "She said 'why do I even date you, you're incapable of making a decision, you get nothing right and sometimes I wonder why I care the way I do.' I memorized those words Joey. Those words cut me deeper than anything." He swallowed that familiar lump again, he fought back the sting and he prayed he wouldn't cry as his voice cracked. "The only person I thought believed in me told me that. She said she loved me but how could she love me when she says that, Jo?" he asked her, a genuine question.

"Pacey she's not the only one that believes in you. I believe in you too," she said moving beside him and looking to his face, so he could see the words and feel them. "I know that we bicker, quarrel, contend, dispute, brawl, contest, spar, spat, fight." She ran out of words, they were all the ones in the dictionary. "But you're my friend. I like to think my best friend. Better than Dawson even. Y'know I can trust you and I know what you are and who you are so don't even think about telling me you are anything but what you are," she said firmly. 

"And what is that, Joey?" he asked curious. "What exactly am I? Tell me because I don't know. I have no faith anymore." He looked at her, his eyes were confused, he really didn't know anymore, he needed someone to tell him.

"Pacey, you are sweet, you are kind, you are much more intelligent than most people I know, you're interesting and most of all you are who you are and you are what you are and if you changed you wouldn't be Pacey anymore. You are not a failure, you are not a disappointment and most importantly you are not what you have come to think you are." She smiled at him and he smiled back, touched that someone actually cared about his pathetic existence, but it was not a pathetic existence and knowing someone thought so gave him a good, warm feeling. "And to end, you are not sleeping in that car tonight." She said getting up and grabbing his hand. "You're coming with me and I'm going to fix you some dinner, and then you're going to a bed, a warm, cozy, comfortable bed to sleep without that obvious pain in your ribs and knotted shoulders okay?" she told him and he nodded. "Good," she said taking one of his large hands between two of hers and walking to the door, she opened it and they walked inside.

"Joey?" Pacey said softly before they walked in, he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on her, sweet cheek, soft cheek, wet from the tears she had shed over him and his distress. He took his free hand, the cold one it could be called as the other was being held in the loving hands of her. He wiped the tears that still hung on her cheek and kissed it again, softly, taking one tear in his mouth; her salty tears were sugar to him. "Thanks for this. Y'know I needed to unload my frustrations and stuff. I appreciate the bed, but there's only one way I'll accept," he said seriously, she thought something was wrong. What else could he want? He eyes asked him, they said 'what?' without the need for words. A look is all it took from her. "You read me a bed time story," he said smiling at her softly. She just chuckled and pulled him inside. He had lifted her spirits again; he always did, even at tough times.

"Come on, you loveable rogue," she said, he certainly was loveable, she knew this recently, spending so much time with him had been something she had been dreading in the beginning but she came to love his company very quickly. He could always be relied on to be there when he was needed and even when he wasn't. He had become, dare she say it, a better friend than Dawson Leery. Not that Dawson had much time for her now anyway. He had a new girlfriend, she was a secret because she already had a boyfriend and apparently he was a big guy and he didn't want to be beaten up. She was such a secret no-one even know her name. She snapped out of her thoughts as she passed Bessie, with Alex on his hip, it was way past his bedtime but she sensed he had just got too energetic and wouldn't settle. Again. "Pacey's staying tonight, Bess," she said sternly, walking into the bathroom and grabbing him a towel from the dryer. "Here," she said giving it to him. "You can take a shower, or a bath if you want one, y'know get the knots out from sleeping on a car for a week."

"Want to have a bath with me?" he smiled cheekily, grabbing her waist, and reeling her into him. Trust him, Joey thought, to make saucy suggestions at times like this. "Y'know we could get all bubbly together and your hand could accidentally on purpose slip when you're looking for soap," he smiled. That smile, she wanted to scowl at him, shove the towel into his chest and walk off, muttering under her breath how he was such a pig but she couldn't.

For some reason the boy she had known since she was three years old had started to get to her, she could no longer resist that smile, she was sure she was immune but lately she wasn't quite so sure. She couldn't help but smile and blush, what the hell was it about him, she sure as hell didn't know but she never got that feeling before. She pushed it aside; she didn't need to think about that today. All she did was glare, unsuccessfully at him and walked out the door, he smiled and laughed. "So is that a no then?" he asked laughing, before closing the bathroom door.

Joey walked through to the kitchen to a scowling Bessie, she had not been happy At all about being advised that they had a visitor. She didn't mind the visitor, she liked Pacey, it was the manor she was told in. She glared at her little sister and crossed her arms in front of her chest and awaited an explanation. Bodie looked from the background and walked over. He knew Bessie was going to be stubborn and Joey needed his help. 

"What was that?" Bessie asked annoyed. "Wouldn't it be nice to ask me?" she said looking at her sister. "Y'know I do run this place, I deserve to be asked if someone can stay. Why is Pacey staying here doesn't he have a home to go to?" She looked at her sister's hard and unforgiving eyes. "It's not that I don't like Pacey, because you know I love him like a brother but. I don't understand why he doesn't just go home. It's not that late in the day."

"Listen Bessie," Joey said simply. "It's my house too and Pacey needs somewhere to crash," Joey told her going to the cupboards and getting out some ingredients to make him some food. She looked around just to see Bessie silent but asked for an explanation. Joey just shrugged her shoulders as she started to chop some vegetables. "He's having some trouble at home, Bessie. He hasn't been home in a week. He can't stay in his truck anymore, he needs somewhere to stay. I couldn't turn him away he's my best friend," she repeated the last words sternly. "My best friend, Bess." She stopped chopping and turned to defend herself. "You always said to help a friend in need Bessie, that's what I'm doing and he has nowhere else to go." She looked at her sister whose look had softened, but was in total agreement. "If he had anywhere to go he would be there instead of sleeping on the back seat of his truck for a week."

"A week?" Bessie said shocked, she needed to sit down. "He's been sleeping in a car for a week and you didn't ask me if he could stay before now." She said "Pacey is family, Jo. As close as you can get without being family. He's helped us so much you should have offered it as soon as possible, but you waited a week," she said, looking at her sister softly. "Why didn't you offer?" 

"I didn't know until now, he just told me tonight. His dad threw him out so he might have to stay here a while okay? Just until he gets some place else to stay," Joey pleaded with her sister.

"He can stay a while, but you still should have asked me. It's the kind of thing you ask me," she pointed out, drinking some coffee she had poured a while ago and grimacing at the taste, it was cold and sweet. She had obviously forgotten how long ago she poured it out.

"I know, I know" Joey said, her back to Bessie turning a bit to take over he shoulder whilst she continued to chop the vegetables, cutting herself. "Ow!" she shouted, sucking her finger and jumping up and down in pain. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow," she repeated. "Ok, ok," Bodie said calmly taking Joey's hand and putting it under the tap. "This is exactly why we don't argue and cook at the same time," he said exasperated. Wrapping her hand in some kitchen towel he pushed her away from him gently, wiping the knife under the water and resumed the chopping Joey had been doing. "Now you two take your fighting into the living room. Don't kill each other and I'll make something to eat," he pushed them into the living room and muttered to himself, "Y'know I pity the boy living here with two Potter women." He sighed and shook his head an continued to make him a meal.

Joey sat with Pacey in her room; he was staring at the ceiling, just thinking about everything and nothing all at once, Joey lay beside him. She had been looking at him for ten minutes and he had said nothing. 

"Penny for em?" Joey spoke up finally. He turned his face to hers and gave her a confused look. "Your thoughts. What you thinking about?" she asked. His eyes were full of mystery and she couldn't read them. He was just lying there beside her in his boxer shorts, Daffy Duck, not surprising really, this was Pacey after all. His boxers cut off and there was a slight space where she could see flesh and a line of hair heading down into them, before his white T-shirt came into view, he was lying stretched out and his body looked so long. His legs were long and his toes were funny, they looked so funny and weirdly shaped, his big toe was bruised where, unfortunately he had dropped the heater on yesterday and it had been bruised. It was funny looking at him, when he was like this, stretched out and it hit her, while she was waiting for his answer about his thoughts, that had not come yet, that she could recognise every scar she could see on him. His left leg he had scars where he had picked his chicken pox when he was six. She remembered that time, they had both caught them from Dawson and were laid up, he spent a whole week at her house, Bessie complaining about them moaning and her mother rushing around after them keeping them well and constantly telling them funny stories. She smiled at the thought he had been so sweet. He had bragged that he overcame them two days before her but spent the following two days at her house reading her stories and looking after her. And even though she hated to admit it, it was one of the best times she had ever had. "I'm waiting," she said snapping out of her thoughts. "Don't ignore me. Tell me what you're thinking, Pacey," she demanded softly.

"Well," he breathed "I don't really know, Josephine." He smiled at her name, he loved saying it. The way it rolled off his tongue, Jo-seph-ine, he wished he could call her that. He thought it was a nice name. He noticed her looking at him; he had drifted off into thoughts instead of answering the question. "I guess I was just thinking about everything y'know but at the same time I was think about nothing at all." He laughed; he knew the comment made no sense at all. He turned to her and she rolled so they were face to face. "I've been thinking about Andie," he said, her eyes asked him to continue and elaborate a bit, so he did. "I think she's seeing someone else. Well I think she's sleeping with someone else. Another guy..." he thought then exhaled a breath he had been holding. "Again."

"Why?" she asked. She couldn't believe she would do it again. Why anyone would do it again after almost losing him once, how could she want to do it again. "What makes you think that?"

"Well I don't know," he answered, thinking, "a few things. Like she's secretive, I have to call her before I go over now. And well she..." he didn't know how to say this. It was kind of embarrassing. "Y'know we're not." She obviously didn't know. "Y'know we don't," he gave her a look into her eyes and hoped she would catch onto his thoughts instead of making him say it. For such a smart girl, she was stupid sometimes, he thought then took it back, she wasn't stupid just oblivious sometimes, that was the word, oblivious.

"Ohh," she said, her eyes growing wide as she realized what he was indeed talking about. She couldn't understand this. Even she had to admit that the thought of being that way with Pacey was kind of exciting and hard to resist. "You mean she doesn't want to?" Joey asked confused. 

"Well. No. I mean I'm not complaining about it either y'know I...I can't, y'know I can't. I'm not able to," he said sadly.

"You can't, y'know?" Joey asked, finding it hard to believe that Pacey Witter couldn't function for sex, he was quick to respond.

"Oh no I can," he said, "I am perfectly able to, I'm very able to, no problem down there. It's all working fine, perfect, my man has plenty juice." He said stopping to blush a little he realized that she had gotten the message. "It's not down there that's the problem it's here," he said pointing to his head. "I can't, because if I do it means I'll get that feeling you get, that close connected feeling and I don't want that. I can't handle it right now. I can't trust her with my heart then have it broken again. When I let her into my mind my heart isn't too far away and its just being held together with tape it's not fixed yet." He cringed at his words. "Every time I touch her I just think of him, I think of Marc, his hands all over her body, touching her places nobody but me had touched her before. I wonder if she thought of me at all when she was with him and..." he paused a second letting his words sink into him properly. "She doesn't complain, I'm thinking that if she's not getting it from me she's getting it from somewhere else." He paused, and looked at her, she was itching to say something.

"Maybe she just understands, maybe she's not cheating at all," Joey offered, taking his hand. She could see his pain and she desperately wanted to make it easier for him.

"Then explain this," he said to her, looking down. "Me and Andie haven't had sex since we got back together two months ago and we were broken up for four months before that and just in case you can't count that six months since we had sex add that to the three months of summer she was away. I haven't had sex in nine months and I found condoms in her drawer, empty packets and one in the garbage. I can't think of a way to explain that," he said saddened, he didn't look at her but felt her eyes burning into him.

"Well have you talked about it?" she asked him, he was visibly upset now and she saw it, she didn't understand Andie, how could she have been such a bitch to him. She definitely didn't deserve him.

"No," he answered simply. "I'll deal with it after all this is over, when I find some place to stay I'll deal with it then." He said, "Listen I really don't want to talk about this right now." He said it kindly, he didn't want her to feel like he didn't want to open up. "It's just that you know I already feel like. I'm this huge disappointment and to know that there's something else to make me even more pathetic and even more of a laughing stock is just depressing. Plus," he yawned, "I haven't slept right for a week and I'm shattered so if you want to talk more about me and my depressing life can we do it tomorrow?" He looked at her with his large blue eyes.

"Sure," she said ruffling his hair lovingly. "Ok we'll talk tomorrow but, just so you know. You are not pathetic. She is if she can't see what a good thing she has then she is pathetic. You are never pathetic and I refuse to let her take you down," Joey said getting off the bed. "Now I'm going to get you some tea and then you're going to go next door and sleep okay?" he said, in a stubborn tone.

"Sure," he said. "Can I have honey in it?" he asked. He loved honey tea, always had it when he was little and sick and still now he had it when he was feeling a little bit down. She turned to him and shot him a small smile and nodded "And, thank Joey, for everything," he said sincerely, she headed back towards him and kissed his forehead gently, walking out without a word to get his tea, Pacey smiled and yawned simultaneously.

"Hey Bodie," Joey said walking into the kitchen and putting the kettle on to boil. "Where's Bessie?" she asked him, he was standing in his pajamas in the kitchen fixing some coffee before bed, reading the paper. He always read the paper at night; too many people read it during the day. Usually Bessie would sit with him and read with him. But she wasn't here "How come she's not partaking in your little nightly reading ritual?"

"She's in bed," he said simply, not looking up from the paper. "She's tired she had to start work early tomorrow and I wasn't tired enough for bed, I'm going in a minute thought. "What are you doing?" he asked her. Running a hand through his short black hair he yawned lightly. "So?" he said finally, looking from his paper. "How is he?"

"He's okay. We had a talk I'm just fixing him some lemon tea then he's going to bed to sleep," she said waiting for the kettle and looking in the cupboard for the honey. Bodie walked over and reached for it out of a different cupboard. "Thanks," she said smiling at him. Bodie was almost like father to her. She was glad he didn't go away now and he was here all the time. She missed him when he went away.

"He does know he can stay around as long as he likes doesn't he?" Bodie asked her. He liked Pacey; he and the boy had become friends in the last few months. He had been at the house and the restaurant so often they had connected. "He's very welcome, I don't mind having another man around the house to share the burden," he paused and looked at her, "I mean pleasure of living with the Potter sisters."

"Hey," Joey said hitting him on the arm, he winced and laughed through the pain. Then turned serious, "He knows he can stay a while but..." Joey smiled. "It's just you know Pacey, he's stubborn and he likes not to feel in the way of anything," she said. "Telling him he can stay as long as he likes and him actually believing it are two very, very different things," Bodie nodded in agreement. "It's just that," she paused as she poured the water into two cups "I'm worried. He's so down and he has so much pain, so much going on in his life right now. I just want him to be close to me so that I'm always here if he needs me," she looked at him sideways, "y'know?"

"You're a great friend, Joey," Bodie said kissing her head as she put the honey in the tea and stirred it. "I'm going to bed now. Don't be late you have school tomorrow, honey," he said walking off to bed. 

"Night" she shouted softly and picked the tea up walking out the kitchen switching off the light and walking into her room. The only light in the house shining out through the door, she walked in and put the tea on the bedside table. Looking at Pacey, she saw he was sleeping soundly. She considered waking him but he looked so peaceful, his eyelashes laid delicately on his skin and his lips curved into a small smile. She decided not to wake him and instead pulled the covers over him and climbed in beside him. She drank her tea, looking at him once in a while, to check he was still sleeping. He was, he was peaceful and his aura was tranquil, more pain free than she had seen him for a long time. She smiled as she kissed his cheek softly and turned off the light drifting into a sleep beside him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Whenever You Need Me**

**Chapter: 2**

**Yellow**

_Look at the stars; look how they shine for you.  
And everything you do,   
Yeah, they were all yellow.  
I came along; I wrote a song for you,.  
And all the things you do,  
And it was called yellow.  
So then I took my turn,  
Oh what a thing to have done,  
And it was all yellow.  
Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones,  
Turn into something beautiful.  
Do you know?  
You know I love you so,   
You know I love you so.  
I swam across; I jumped across for you,  
Oh what a thing to do,  
'Cos you were all yellow.  
I drew a line; I drew a line for you,  
Oh what a thing to do,  
And it was all yellow._

And your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones,  
Turn into something beautiful.  
Do you know?  
For you I bleed myself dry,  
For you I bleed myself dry.  
It's true.  
Look how they shine for you,  
Look how they shine for you,  
Look how they shine for…  
Look how they shine for you,   
Look how they shine for you,  
Look how they shine.  
Look at the stars,  
Look how they shine for you  
And all the things that you do  
  
Pacey woke up from his deep sleep in Joey's bed; he looked around the room through his partially opened eyes and noticed that this was definitely not a truck. There were no seats in sight, his feet were not resting on the steering wheel, it was warm and cozy and most importantly he had woken naturally and not by the sound of his feet moving and honking the horn. He sat up in the bed and glanced around, he remembered decorating this room when he did the refurbishment. It was bight and it was Yellow, sunshine yellow, he remembered Joey had always liked Yellow, the color always reminded her of the summertime, and even though she was hardly a girly girl she liked flowers too. He recalled the day he had surprised her with the room, he had picked some flowers from his garden and put them on her window ledge in a small glass vase. She had loved it and thanked him for about a week afterwards; even after the flowers had died out she loved them. In fact she had loved them so much that she had picked the petals off delicately and arranged them in a frame, compressing them with some glass and making it into a beautifully decorative piece of artwork. He took another quick glimpse around the room to get his bearings before getting out of the bed and walking out the door as quietly as possible. He didn't want to wake her, she looked so peaceful, her legs were tucked up slightly and her hands had curled up like a child. He tiptoed quietly into the kitchen, looking out the window he could see there was no real need for a light as it was light outside. He looked in the pine cupboard and took out a box of Advil, popping two into his mouth he took a drink of water from the tap. He knew it wasn't very polite but no one could see him.

"I saw that, Witter," Bessie uttered in slumberous tone. She opened her mouth and yawned widely. It was five am and she had hardly slept. She looked at the boy leaning on the counter in his novelty Boxers and T-shirt. "What are you doing up at this hour?" she asked, intrigued. She would have thought that given that he hadn't slept in a bed for a week he would have taken the opportunity to sleep all through the night in a proper bed. 

"I just seriously needed some Advil," he said, getting a glass out of the cupboard, wincing at the pain as he stretched. "Want a drink?" he asked her but she just shook her head. "I guess it comes from the way I slept for the last week, it was very uncomfortable in that truck," he said rubbing his neck with his left hand as he filled the glass with juice.

"So where's your truck?" Bessie asked him, inviting him to sit beside her at the table. "Joey said you walked here, but if you've been sleeping in your truck where is it?" She asked as he sat next to her. She heard him groan as he sat down.

"Ruins" he said simply. "It's in a hidden area back there. I'll go pick it up after school," he told her, taking a drink of water. "Listen Bessie, if I'm in the way here you just let me know and I'll go y'know I don't want to be a nuisance," he commented shaking his head slowly, he felt like a pity project and a charity case.

"Pacey," Bessie said taking his hand, she hated the way he thought he was a charity case, he didn't need to say it, she knew Pacey. "Look around this house just for one second," she asked him and he did, she could see it in his eyes, he had no idea why she was making him look around. He looked at her with his blue eyes, questioning her. "This house was just a little family house six months ago. You came in here and you poured your heart and soul into Mom's dream. You didn't have to, but you did it anyway," she sighed and looked at him. "Your blood, sweat and tears are in this house and now instead of a tiny little house we have a dream come true. Every inch of this house has a part of your heart in it. You think this isn't your home?" She shook her head at him and smiled soothingly. "You're so wrong, this is just as much your home as it is mine now. So stay as long as you want because we're not letting you go back to that house and be treated the way you are by that tyrant of a father of yours." She saw him open his mouth to protest but she spoke again before he had a chance. "You're not the only Witter brother I know y'know," Bessie sighed and stood up. "Doug used to talk to me just as much as you confide in Joey," Bessie said sadly. "So don't think you need to hide because I know all about him and his ways," Bessie said, looking at him. He just looked shocked, like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast moving car, ready to knock it over and finish its life. He was speechless, he didn't know quite what to say he didn't even know Doug and Bessie had been that close. 

"So you know, huh?" Pacey asked sadly as he stood up and walked over to her, she just nodded to him slowly. "Well it's good to know that you understand." He swallowed the lump in his throat, it seemed that the icy Potter exterior was crumbling. "I appreciate it, y'know you're kinda like a sister, Bess," he said shyly. "You're the sister I never had," he told her giving her a bear hug.

"Pacey?" Bessie asked thinking. "You have three sisters," she pointed out laughing softly looking up at him as he hugged her.

"Well, yes," Pacey admitted. "But one of them is very manly, one is just plain mean and Gretchen never sees me anyway, so I guess you're like my sister," he told her, pulling away from the embrace. "Y'know you're like a sister, Bodie is like a brother and Alex is like a son, you're kinda my family," he said, his shy tone returning. "I should get back to bed," he said.

"So..." Bessie said teasing him. "If I'm your sister, Bodie is your brother and Alexander is your son" she paused, looking at him with a knowing smile. "What is Joey to you? And don't say your sister."

"Joey?" He asked and smiled. He shook his head and gave her a nervous smile. "Joey is..." he paused, he didn't quite know what she was to him. "Joey is..." he said again, he was trying to think, it was a very simple question but one he couldn't answer. He had no answer; Joey was so much to him, beyond a category. "Joey is..." he let out a sigh. "Joey is a very special person," he said starting to walk away but turning around before he walked out all the way. "What else can I say?" he asked. "She's Josephine Potter." He smiled and walked into the bedroom. 

Dawson sat in class looking out the window, he tapped his pen against his desk and glanced at the clock, twenty minutes since class started and there was still no sign of his lab partner. He cursed at Pacey in his mind, if he didn't turn up today he would be stuck with Andie and there was no way he could handle being around her. Having to be next to her in Math was bad enough but at least they didn't have to talk or work together. He already felt guilty for what he was doing, but to have to stand next to her without touching her was out of the question. He watched as the rain poured outside, clobbering the window frame and slowly trickling down the window Payne in small streams. Where the hell was Pacey? He asked himself in his mind. Joey wasn't in class either; Joey was never late or absent. A feeling of fear swept over him as he thought of what might have happened, terrible thoughts of car accidents or hijackings, the thought of her lying beside the roadside covered in blood all alone. He snapped out of his nonsensical thoughts when he heard several pairs of feet running down the corridor and into the classroom drenched with the rain from outside. It was Pacey and Joey, as they ran in and halted quickly as Mr. Rogers, the English teacher turned and peered over his glasses. Mr. Rogers was a man in his late thirties with black, thin rimmed glasses and short blonde hair. He just took off his glasses and pointed to their seats. His face was red and easy to tell he was seething. Mr. Rogers was the worst teacher to be late for, he was a robust believer in 'tardy for school, tardy for life'. He had said it on many occasions and watched eyes roll every time he said it.

"Tardy again, Mr. Witter?" he commented. It was more of a statement than a question. "And what is your remarkably elaborate excuse for your tardiness today?" Mr. Rogers asked, walking over to him and looking down on him. "Let me think what haven't you used?" he pretended to think. "An elephant sat on my engine?"

"No, sir. I slept in," Pacey replied simply. There were many things he could do to make this worse and he had no intention of doing any of them.

"You slept in?" he repeated. "Well, well, well, this is a sudden alteration of genetic makeup, telling the truth?" The teacher chuckled at Pacey's expense. "Bizarre concept, I'm relatively impressed" he said. It was really getting to Pacey. Talking about kicking a man when he's down. Pacey said nothing; he just looked at the desk and bit his tongue. Saying anything right now was not a good idea at all.

"It was my fault, sir," Joey said speaking up, she felt awful. If it wasn't for her they wouldn't have been late. "I made Pacey late. I'm sorry," she said, she couldn't let him take all the criticism for it.

"Miss Potter, it's just such a shame you're letting him drag you down with him," he said. Joey's plan had not worked at all. This man was just so annoying.

"I think that's hardly fair, sir," Joey spoke up as he turned his back. He quickly whipped back and looked at her questioningly. "To criticize for being a few minutes late. That is just plain benighted ness on your part," she said biting her lip. She had never talked back to a teacher before but it was about time she did, it actually felt good. "And to put him down in front of everyone when I admitted it was me whose fault it was that we were twenty minutes late for your absolutely uninteresting, unexciting, ho-hum class," she said. She heard people sucking the air in through their teeth as they heard her talk. She was being very brave no one in their right mind would talk back like this, but she was not in her right mind she was trying to prove a point.

"Excuse me, Miss Potter. Are you criticizing my judgement and my teaching in my own classroom?" He asked annoyed at her. "You are completely out of order," he said, shocked by her outburst. 

"I'm criticizing your judgement, or should I say lack of judgement. I am criticizing your teaching methods. I'm criticizing you demeanour and your complete Lack of respect for your students." She paused for a small think. "I'm criticizing you in general," she said bravely. She was sick of him and the way he was treating Pacey and he wasn't going to get him get away with it. She didn't care if they gave her detention or even academic probation; she wasn't prepared to let him put Pacey down anymore.

"Joey..." he said slowly. "It's such a pity. You're such a good student it's horrible to see a good student be dragged down by a bad student. What's next? Are you going to spit in my face? Make me retire early?" he said sweetly. He was pushing her and he knew it.

"Screw you!" Joey said in an outburst, she couldn't quite believe her mouth. When did she care so much that she would push herself just to protect him? But she didn't care how much trouble she would get in; she glanced over and saw Pacey's face. It was one of confusion, and humour, he was dying to jump in and rescue her but he was scared if he did it would kill the point she was obviously trying to make.

"Miss Potter!" Mr. Rogers said in a blast. It looked like he was about to blow a gasket, whatever a gasket was, she didn't know all she knew was he was going to blow one, or even a blood vessel if that little vain didn't stop throbbing. She watched it, it was almost hypnotizing her, watching it throb up then down then up and down again. "If you weren't such a good student when you aren't being influenced I would make you collect your things and march down that corridor to see Principal Green!" he shouted pointing his lanky fingers at her.

"Y'know I'll save you the trouble," Joey said picking her bag up and marching out the door. The class was amazed and couldn't quite believe what she had done. Pacey looked at her as she left, not sure whether to walk out after her, he already felt guilty for getting her into trouble but he was touched by her actions. Willing to stand up for him when no one else would. No one else ever did before, he didn't know what it was about that girl but she truly did believe in him, and it almost made him believe in himself too. 

Joey stood at her locker putting her books in her locker smiling, very happy with herself. She had marched into the office and explained everything to Principal Green. She was half expecting to be put on probation or something but instead all that he had done was given her a Saturday detention. She had explained to him the reason for her protest and he had even promised to talk to Mr. Rogers about his attitude. She smiled to herself again as she closed her locker door. She heard her voice being yelled by someone from far away. She looked for the person who was shouting for her and saw him at the opposite end of the hallways. It was Pacey running towards her, calling her name. He almost ran past her he was running so fast. When he got to her he was out of breath. "Joey?" He asked out of breath. "What happened this morning? Are you okay?" he asked her. Still trying to get his breath back. He looked at her; she was amused, not angry or upset but amused. He searched her eyes with his and only saw a smile. "Okay..." he said confused. "Why are you smiling? Shouldn't you be upset and crying because you got into trouble?" he asked. He was very bewildered by her; she was one strange woman at times.

"It's okay. I just got a detention," Joey said laughing at his reaction. "But you're so adorable when you're worried," she told him kissing his nose. He was still confused. "And even cuter when you're confused. Your nose wrinkles up and your forehead gets all lines on it. It's cute like one of those puppies with all the wrinkles," she said laughing gently. He was still confused; his eyes asked her for an explanation. "I told Principal Green how unfair I thought Mr. Rogers was and how out of line he was and he just gave me a detention," she explained. "He was very nice about it really. He promised to talk to him about his attitude."

"Why did you do it Jo?" he asked seriously. "You could have gotten into major trouble for it," he said looking in her eyes softly.

"I wasn't going to let a jerk like that treat you like that," she told him softly. "You deserve better and since nobody sticks up for you anymore I couldn't watch it. I couldn't bear to see that hurt in your eyes again. The look I saw last night." She smiled shyly. "You mean so much to me Pacey, So much and I can't sit back and see people tear you to shreds when you have worked your ass off to improve your grades," she told him. All he did was look back her and smile softly at her. They stood in a moment briefly, doing nothing, just looking intensely at each other.

"Listen Jo. I have to go," he said suddenly. "I promised I would have lunch with Andie and she's waiting." He swallowed hard, he didn't know what he had just felt for her but it was not just platonic. "I'll see you at home later though," he told her. "I have something to do," Pacey said walking away from her. He had to talk to Andie, he wanted to ask her about some things that were bothering him. He knew she was being unfaithful but he would give her the benefit of the doubt first.

Okay I know there wasn't much romance in it or anything but it's all vital part of the story. Character building and all that stuff. I'll try and update soon again. Tell me what you think, but only if it's good lol


	3. Chapter 3

**Whenever You Need Me**

**  
Chapter: 3**

**  
Secret Smile**

**  
**  
_Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
So use it and prove it .  
Remove this whirling sadness.  
I'm losing, I'm bruising.  
But you can save me from madness.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.   
And you use it only for me.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
So save me I'm waiting.  
I'm needing, hear me pleading.  
And soothe me, improve me.  
When you are flying around and around the world.  
And I'm lying and lonely.  
I know there's something sacred and free reserved.  
And received by me only.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
So use it and prove it.  
Remove this whirling sadness.  
I'm losing, I'm bruising.  
But you can save me from madness now, now.   
When you are flying around and around the world.  
And I'm lying and lonely.  
I know there's something sacred and free reserved.  
And received by me only.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
And you use it only for me.  
Nobody knows it but you've got a secret smile.  
Nobody knows it Nobody knows it Nobody knows it.  
But you've got a secret smile.   
-Semisonic  
Secret Smile _

Pacey was sickened by her behaviour, he couldn't stand it, talk about avoiding the issue. He was sitting in Andie's Bedroom waiting for her to come out of her bathroom so they could talk. He had been waiting since yesterday lunchtime to discuss this and he wasn't going to let her drag it out anymore. Either she was just avoiding it or she was being selfish and only talking about what she wanted. Either way he was going to get to the bottom of it, and he was going to get to the bottom of it tonight. She walked out from the bathroom; she had spent forty minutes in there preening, for use of a better word. He could see she had washed her hair, had a Bubble bath, changed her clothes, put on some make up and gave herself a manicure. All the time he had been waiting she had been in there just giving herself a makeover. He sighed with annoyance as she walked over to her closet and picked out her coat, putting it on she reached for his hand. Enough was enough. This was being dealt with and this was being dealt with right this minute, Andie didn't have any say in the matter, either they talked now or this relationship was over! "Come on Pacey," Andie said brightly. "Time for dinner," she rambled. "I think that new place on Sorely Street has a special. Y'know the place, The Ice Palace?" she asked him, but he wouldn't move from his spot. "What?" She asked. "Come on, I'm hungry," she pulled on his arm and he just looked angrily at her. "What's that look for?" She questioned harshly. 

"What's this look for?" Pacey asked her in disbelief. "What is this look for?" He repeated in the same tone. "This look is because I have been trying to discuss something with you since lunch time yesterday and you've been ignoring me!" He almost shouted at her, she was being so annoying, she was always so annoying and selfish. "And we're not going to dinner," he paused and shook his head. "You and me are going to sit right here and discuss something," he said sternly. There was no way she was getting out of it this time. 

"Well make it quick," Andie said looking at her watch and sitting down on the bed. "We have to go soon if we're going to get a table, I hear its really busy right now and I'm hungry, I think I'll have the chicken, apparently its nice and moist. Y'know when you get chicken and its dry? I hate that it's like what's the point if you're not going to cook for it and…" Andie was rambling again, he decided he would be putting a stop to this right now.

"Andie stop!" Pacey cut her off. "I don't care, okay?" He told her in a harsh irritated tone. "I don't care if we'll miss a table. I don't care if the Chicken is moist or not. I don't care if the sun starts to shine out my ass!" He said through gritted teeth harshly. "All I care about is that you sit down here, stop avoiding the issue and tell me who you're having an affair with!" He said angrily. He didn't mean for it to come out like that, just accusing but at the time it seemed to make so much sense. How could they talk about it if she wouldn't talk about it?

"What?" Andie asked in a confused tone. "What affair?" She replied dumbfounded by his comment. "I don't believe you still don't trust me!" Andie shouted. "It was one lousy night eight months ago, how can you still hold it against me!" She shouted angrily.

"Well I wouldn't have so much trouble trusting you if you didn't make it so obvious that you were sleeping around on me!" He snapped back, standing up and pacing around her room.

"What makes you think I'm having an affair?" Andie asked in a high pitched tone, she couldn't believe him. He said he had forgiven her but he obviously hadn't.

"Oh let me think Andie," Pacey said. He was so annoyed with her, how could she just act so dumb. "The fact that we haven't had sex since you came back, since you betrayed me and my trust, and I found packets of empty condoms in your drawer!" He shouted. "Explain that to me will you because why do you need condoms if you're not having sex with your boyfriend?" His tone was harsh and jagged.

"Those condoms weren't mine; they were from Sonja, my cousin. The one staying here remember her?" She asked him. "She's visiting from Providence, it's her, they were hers she has been using my room to meet with her boyfriend!" Andie yelled. Did he honestly think she would be as stupid as to leave condoms around for him to see? Even she was having an affair that would be pretty stupid to say the least.

"What?" Pacey asked, this he wasn't expecting. "They…" He stuttered "They're not yours?" He asked, he almost felt stupid.

"No! Do you honestly think I would make the same mistake twice?" She asked him, calmer now. "Do you honestly think I would do that to you again? Give me a little credit Pacey," She told him.

"Well what about the fact that when I want to come over I almost have to make an appointment?" He asked her, if she was having an affair he was going to find out.

"I just don't want you to come over and me be out. I'm out a lot with Mom and all," Andie told him. Her mother had gone into the hospital in Capeside soon after summer so that Andie could look after herself and her father without having to worry about her all the time.

"So you're not having an affair?" Pacey asked feeling a little stupid and confused. He didn't totally believe her but he was going to give her the benefit of the doubt for now. She shook her head at his question and she looked genuinely hurt. Maybe she wasn't cheating on him after all. "Andie I'm sorry," He apologized to her. He had asked her to her face and she had denied it.

"Pacey," Andie said taking his hand. "I understand okay? I put you through a lot in the past and I know how hard it is to forgive, let alone forget. Just remember that once we get past thins we're going to be great again. I would never cheat on you again because I know what I have in you. You helped me through so much and I never forget that and that's why I would never hurt you again," she told him softly. She looked into his eyes and kissed his lips softly. She took his lips to hers and kissed them deeper, pushing him down gently on the bed she continued their kiss. Thoughts flashed through his mind. It was there again; Marc was there, touching her, caressing her, his hands were all over her, kissing her lips and her neck. He had to shake them from his mind, trying to concentrate on the kiss he pushed them to the back of his mind, he noticed her hands were working on his shirt and he let her. Thoughts in his head changed, no more Mark, thank god. He thought of Joey sitting at home alone, he thought about her sitting there, her long legs tucked under her, playing with her hair and swirling her coffee with her index finger like always. He loved the way she did that, especially cappuccino, she did it all the time, then she would just blow on it softly, causing the froth to ripple as she wrapped her red lips around the rim and drank the sweet, dark liquid. He started to think of an explanation for that look in thew hallway yesterday, not a platonic look, he had almost fallen into her eyes, into their depth and sensuality, her smiling eyes, intense and beautiful. She seemed to have a smile that was only for him, she never used it anywhere else, it was beautiful, entrancing to say the very least and extremely arousing, he could feel the arousal deep down inside of him. He snapped out of his thought suddenly. How could he stay here and kiss Andie like he trusted her and like he loved her as much as he used to when he could just kiss her and think about someone else in that way. Who was he kidding, he didn't love her that much anymore. And to top it all he wasn't ready to let her into his mind again, not yet. He removed himself from her lips and gently pushed her off him so he could stand. When he got to his feet he fastened his shirt back up quickly and grabbed his bag "Where are you going?" Andie asked, she couldn't believe he was just leaving.

"I have to go," Pacey said distracted, avoiding her eyes. "I just…" He stuttered. He didn't know what to tell her, he couldn't just sit here like everything was fine and dandy, when he was thinking about someone else, kissing someone else, touching someone else. The thoughts invaded him again; he had to stop thinking. He had to just walk away, run anywhere to be alone with his thoughts. "I have to go, mom will have dinner on the table soon and I can't be late," he lied.

"I thought we were going out. Aren't we going out?" Andie asked, confused. What was it with him, one minute he was fine and the next he was running away.

"Yes I know, I totally forgot," he had to think of a lie, quick. "I promised I would, y'see my sisters' new boyfriend is coming over and we all have to be there to meet him," Pacey was almost proud of his lie. It really sounded like something that could happen. "I'm sure I told you," he added for good measure, you can never go wrong with that and she seemed to buy it as her look softened.

"Oh yes," Andie replied, she couldn't remember him saying it but maybe she just wasn't listening. "I think I remember you saying something about that, I should have reminded you," she added. "So I'll see you tomorrow at school?" She asked him. 

"Uh yes, sure whatever. I'll be there." He stumbled as he tried to walk out the room, what was it about him, his legs wouldn't work, they just wanted to pick him up and run out but they wouldn't, they weren't working. "I'll be there. At school. Tomorrow. Tuesday, Day after today, Monday, is Tuesday, and the day after is Wednesday, but tomorrow is Tuesday, second day of the school week. Yes Tuesday yummy meatloaf day," He paused, before running out the door and into his truck and banging his head against the steering wheel, he was just lucky that the old rust bucket didn't have airbags or he would have been screwed. He though of what he had just said, it had been so nervous and the ramblings of a mad man. He saw her looking from the window so he put the keys into the ignition and drove away. He had to go somewhere, anywhere to think. 

Pacey drove through the rain, it was almost blinding him, and it seemed as though as much as he tried he could hardly see through it. He had spent the last few hours just trying to clear his head in The Ruins. He hadn't succeeded because every time he tried to think he just got his mind in knots. Unable to settle himself he decided to go back to the B&B, he would have rang Bessie to tell her he was late but as fate had it, his cell phone had no juice left. As he drove along he came across a familiar turning. A neighborhood in a nice part of town, not perfect, but it was a nice residential area. He took his courage, looked at his watch and took the turning. He drove past several houses he knew and into the driveway of number 164 Maple Terrace, otherwise known as the Witter household. He saw his fathers patrol car was no where to be seen and decided to go inside. He took the keys out of his pocket and noticed he was shaking, more from trepidation than the cold, as he cautiously and boldly found the key. It was a small golden key and as he lifted it to the lock it fitted perfectly inside. Turning it slowly, he heard the door unlock slowly and pushed the door before stepping inside, to be met by his mother. She was a woman in her fifties with short black hair; her look was one of surprise and happiness as she stepped forward to embrace her youngest child, her baby. "Pacey John Witter?" She whispered slowly. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick about you," she said as she stepped away from the hug.

"Oh yeah?" Pacey questioned, he did not believe her. "If you worried so much then why didn't you call anyone to see where I was?" He asked her harshly, his voice was thick and jagged. "Admit it, you didn't care," he said as he pushed past her and walked up the stairs, before turning around to face his mother. "I'm just here for some of my things ma, I'm not staying, I found somewhere to stay," he said continuing to walk up the stairs and into his room. His room was just as he remembered it, he wasn't going to say he didn't like his room because he did, it was covered of pictures of hockey stars and overlooked the park. He took a bag from the top of his closet and threw as many items in as he could. It wasn't everything but he could come back for more, his father would be home soon and that was a confrontation he didn't want.

"Pacey!" John Witter's voice boomed up the stairs and Pacey cringed. "Pacey!" The voice got louder as his father entered the room, slamming the door behind him. He was angry and Pacey knew that look in his fathers' eyes. "What the hell are you doing in this house!" He shouted walking over and grabbing his collar and throwing him around the room with it. "I threw you out and told you not to come back! What didn't' you understand!" He shouted.

"Don't worry I'm just getting a few things and I'm leaving," Pacey said calmly, not wanting to annoy his father any more than he already was. He zipped the bag up and looked at his father. "I'm done I'll be going," Pacey said slowly. He tried to get out the door but his father stopped him. "I thought you said you wanted me out?" Pacey asked, he knew what his father was trying to do. "Will you please just let me past?" He requested.

"Let you past… what?" Asked his father, he was going to make him beg to be out.

"Let me past Please," Pacey replied. He wasn't playing his fathers game again. Not this time. Not ever. 

"You afraid to stay and fight?" His father questioned him. "Poor little Pacey Witter, failure and coward!" His father mocked.

"I am a coward!" Pacey admitted angrily. "I'm a coward for not walking away a long time ago. It takes more courage to walk away than it does to fight," he answered, trying to stay calm. "I have the courage to walk away now," Pacey told him pushing past him.

"Don't you walk away from me!" John Witter shouted as he watched his son walk down the stairs, he ignored his calls and just continued to walk. "Pacey!" His voice thundered, almost shaking the foundations of the house. "You walk out that door now, don't you never come back! You hear me? Never!" He Bellowed.

"Screw you!" Pacey shouted to him, he almost fell down the remainder of the stairs when he felt his fathers' hand on his shoulder. He squirmed to get away from his fathers' intense grip and ran down the stairs before his father pushed him, he had done it once and he would do it again.

"Don't you even dare talk to me like that! I deserve respect!" His father shouted at the top of his voice as Mrs. Witter just stood by and watched the events unfold like always. "You will be sorry you ever said that to me!" He roared.

"I'm getting out of your life what else do you want from me?" Pacey asked angrily, throwing his bag on the floor and turning to his father. He had grown past his father in height and truth was he was stronger than he was, however, his father was more powerful. "Come on take one last punch Sheriff!" Pacey said walking to his father and pointing to his cheek, he was so close to him he could feel his fathers' harsh breath on his skin. It made him shiver that cold breath. "Come on scar me for life a little bit more! Scare me beyond belief a little bit more! Make me cry just a little bit more! Make me feel worthless just a little bit more! Hurt me just a little bit more! Make me hate you just a little bit more!" Pacey shouted at him, his emotions pouring out of his mouth harshly, biting at him. "You already drove me away, why not just scar me even more and make my life even more worthless? You are a terrible father, I wish you were dead!" Pacey said harshly, not regretting a single word. He did wish his father was dead, he wished he had died a long time ago, he wanted his father to be as dead as his father made him feel. He stood in a tense silence for a moment before his father smashed his powerful fist into the side of his face, knocking him down to the ground with exceptional violence. He just looked down at him, he was lying on the floor. He pressed his shoe to the side of Pacey's face on the ground, Stomping his face quickly before removing it, allowing Pacey to get up and grab his bag. Walking out of the house and John Witter's life forever

Joey sat on the decking looking out at the sky. Storm clouds were forming, it was almost as if a tempest was advancing upon them. The wind hollered and blew, trees swayed violently, she heard their rustle overtake her senses. She didn't even know why she was out there, watching the sky, feeling the cold wind, smelling the storm come, listening to the thunder rumble and growl at her in the evening. It was ten o'clock and Pacey still wasn't home. He wasn't at Dawson's, or Andie's, or Jen's, she had checked them all, she didn't know where he was. His cell phone was switched off as per usual and he was nowhere to be seen. She contemplated going out in search for him but knew he would be home soon and if she did go out it was guaranteed that he would arrive in the meantime. The rain hit the decking with force and she was cold and wet. Bessie had urged her to come inside four times in the last five minutes, but she couldn't. She squinted to take a better view of a pair of headlights heading towards the house, windscreen wipers wiping as fast as they could manage but still not holding off the downpour. It was Pacey's truck, she saw him as he pulled the truck to a halt and ran inside carrying a large bag sheltering from the rain. He looked at her with a confused stare. "What are you doing out here?" Pacey asked, almost having to shout over the sounds of the storm. "You'll freeze out here!" He said as he ushered her inside the house with him. It wasn't until they got inside she saw his face; it had bruised and was bleeding. She put her hands over her mouth and touched her hand gently to the in jury; he winced and pulled her hand away, gently kissing it. He looked to her eyes. Those large eyes, concerned, tears threatening to fall. "I'm okay, really I am," he reassured her.

"What…" She stuttered, she couldn't quite take this in. "What happened?" She asked, reaching to touch his face again, to run her fingers across his wound, feeling it, touching the skin that had been abused, freshly abused. She didn't understand, he was meant to be away from this when he left home. "What happened Pacey? How did this happen?" She asked as her lip trembled, slowly one solitary tear escaped from her eye, rolling down her soft skin and over her cheekbone. It travelled down her face and to her chin; hanging for a while in the silence before it finally dropped down and splattered on the wooden floor, almost hearing the echo in the silence of him. He did not speak, he just lifted his hand to her face and caught another tear on his finger, stopping her tears for falling for a moment as he looked at her and saw the hurt in her eyes. The hurt from seeing him hurt. "Tell me what happened Pacey?" Joey asked, her voice only a mute whisper, it was almost as though she had not said the words at all, but only mouthed them to him.

"Joey," Pacey whispered. "Don't cry please I'm okay," his voice shook as he saw her teary state, as much as he wanted to he couldn't stop her from aching inside or her heart from shattering into tiny shards when she saw him like this. Her teary eyes asked him for an explanation, so he led her to the couch and sat her down. He perched on the edge of a chair opposite her and took her hand in his delicately. Her fingers were cold and shaking, he kissed her knuckles softly and then rubbed the area where his lips had met her soft, smooth, shaky flesh. He gulped down tears to stop him weeping, not for himself but for the way he broke her. "I went to get some things from home and he was there, I'm not going back Joey I promise you I'm not. It wasn't even all that much, just one blow, one final blow for the road and it's over, done, gone. No more hurt or pain. One last duel," he told her.

"Where have you been all this time, just at home with him fighting?" She asked him. "If it was just one punch why are you so late home?"

"I went to see Andie and we had a talk, then I needed to get some things straight in my head so I went to The Ruins. On my way home I went to get some stuff from home, I haven't just been there getting the crap beaten out of me for hours you know Jo? I'm fine," he said reassuring her.

"You…" She stuttered through her tears. "You are?" She managed to get out before her tears invaded her again. He nodded his head and wiped her tears from her eyes with the back of his free hand, his soft skin brushed against her moist cheeks and the warmth soothed her. "What happened with Andie?" She asked him, trying to contain her shaking from the cold and emotion.

"She says she's not cheating on me, she had explanations for everything and I kind of believed her," Pacey told her and shrugged. "I think. Y'know I just…" He paused, mid-sentence and shrugged again before continuing. "I'm not sure whether to stay with it because I don't love her that much," he paused. "Sometimes I think that maybe if I stay with her we'll get back to that place again or close to it and I'll love her again. But I'm not sure. I'm kind of scared to let go y'know?" He asked her and she nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I know," Joey said, enjoying his presence and the warmth of his touch on her hands. Andie did not deserve a man like him. Someone so sweet and caring, she had Pacey down for an idiot for the best part of her life, but she had quickly leaned that he was hugely misunderstood. "But when it's time you'll know," Joey said looking him in the eyes.

"How Jo?" He asked. "How will I know when it's right to hurt her? Because that is what will happen when I break up with her. She will be hurt. So when do I know when it's over?" He asked her. 

"Well I guess when there's that person, that you can't stay away from. That drives you crazy, who seems to have a smile only for you and parts that no one else can see. When you can fall in love with someone else and not feel guilty for it. When you fall out of love with Andie. Because if you love Andie you cant think about anyone else. So if you're thinking about someone else then you know that's it, "Joey told him. She smiled and took her hand away from his. "I should go and take a shower," she said. "I suggest you go clean up your face," she suggested. His face was very bloody and battered, she just knew that tomorrow it would be completely unmistakable for a bruise. She walked away from him and into the bathroom. He sat in silence for a while staring after Joey. The woman with the secret smile that she used only for him. No body knew but him, he loved this girl. The only question was did she feel the same? And more importantly than that, was it really worth risking his friendship for? Only time would provide the answers.


	4. Chapter 4

Whenever You Need Me  
Chapter: 4  
Achilles heel  
By: A droplet of Jupiter  
Rating: PG-13  
Category: pj

Goodbye to the sky.  
You know I can't fly but I feel love.  
Do you know how I feel?  
You are my Achilles heel.  
Hello to below.  
I feel love flow like a river flow.  
You and I standing still.  
You are my Achilles heel.  
Feeling free yeah what about me.  
Well you gotta give it up cos I feel love.  
Do you know how I feel?   
You are my Achilles heel.  
Goodbye to the sky.  
You know I can't fly but I feel love.  
Do you know how I feel?  
You are my Achilles heel.  
But there's a child in our eyes.  
And the child never dies.  
So, keep the dream alive.  
When the air I suck inside.  
I can push with all my might.  
And the statue in the sky.  
With my Achilles heel.  
Small cry don't know why.   
I gotta get high just to love a lot of you.  
I am at high and low from my head to my toes.  
I said hey la la.  
Will I go far, will I go far?  
Cos I love and I feel  
Do you know how I feel?   
You are my Achilles heel.  
I said oh no no.  
Will I go slow now will I go slow?  
Will the feeling flow.  
But there's a child in our eyes.  
And the child never dies.  
So, keep the dream alive.  
When the air I suck inside.  
I can push with all my might.  
And the statue in the sky.  
With my Achilles heel.   
-Toploader.  
Achilles heel

Pacey stood outside the multiplex theatre in his jeans and a white shirt; rubbing his hands together he hoped the friction would cause some heat to warm him up a little. It was a very cold night, it was March, it was meant to be milder than this, but it felt more like cold night in mid November. It was a Friday evening; there was only four more days until Joey's birthday, he had already arranged her present but was finding it difficult to hide from her prying eyes. He looked to the sky and to the snow floating down to the ground; the night sky was littered with little floating droplets of white, frozen joy. There wasn't enough to make a snowman but definitely enough to make snowballs with. He had realized there was enough to make snowballs with when Joey had tried, and succeeded at it several times that night. _'Where is she anyway?_' He thought. _'All she went to do was to get tickets for the show and meet me back…_ ' A cold sensation at the back of his head snapped him out his thoughts. There was only one person who could throw a snowball like that, with such precision. He turned around quickly and discovered his suspicions were correct, there, standing behind him with at least four snowballs was Joey Potter. She was as evil as she was beautiful at times; playing tricks on him had become a daily occurrence at the B&B. He had only been living with her five days and already she was finding new ways to tease and trick him. He looked at her; she looked so beautiful that night. She was wearing skin-tight jeans and a red jumper, blue socks, white hat, scarf, and coat. Her hair blew in the wind and droplets of snow clung to it, she looked ravishing that night and as much as he wanted to walk over to her in the snow, kiss her and hold her forever, he couldn't. There was still the small matter of Andie, his girlfriend, and the fact that his feelings for Joey were only one sided. Unrequited love was the worst and the most horrible thing, and what made this worst of all was that he had to live with her and see her every day. From the moment he woke in the morning until he went to bed at night, she was there, just walking around being perfect and all Joey-like. He thought a moment about what he had just thought, was Joey-like a word? He decided it wasn't after a moment of thinking but decided to make it one anyway. Two snowballs hit him in the chest as he thought about her. "Hey Doofus!" Joey bellowed playfully. "Snap out of it, you're staring!" She shouted at him as she threw the two the remaining snowballs at him one after another, one hitting his chest and the other in the side of his head. "Come on Witter, what's the matter, don't you know how to dodge a snowball anymore?" She teased. She was so beautiful when she was playful. Pacey had to stop these thoughts before Andie got there, that would have been just plain disrespectful. The worst thing about tonight was that Garry was coming. Garry was Andie's cousin from Philly and tonight he was coming out to double date. Joey broke him out of his thoughts again when she came up and tapped his shoulder. "What is wrong with you tonight?" she asked him bemused and slightly amused. "You're all zoned out," she giggled softly at him and his strange behaviour; he was weird at times.

"Yeah I know I'm sorry. I just hate Garry," Pacey lied about his thoughts, but he did hate Garry. "He's so annoying and sleazy, I don't know why Andie set you two up, he's so not your type," Pacey complained whilst wiping off the traces of the snowball from his shoulder and chest.

"And what exactly is my type?" Joey asked interested in his opinion. Pacey did not know her type; she didn't even have a type. All the men she ever dated she could list on one hand. Anderson Crawford, that relationship was nothing but a lie. Dawson Leery, less said about that relationship the better and Jack McPhee, Gay. What else could she say, she didn't have a type. 

"Not Garry. You are exceedingly too good for him. Y'know you deserve better!" Pacey said to her, she gave him a shy smile. "Much, much better."

"I do?" Joey asked moving closer to him, huddling with him in the cold night air, he looked at her with a questioning glance. "It's cold," she told him. "So why do I deserve better? If you know what I deserve then what do I deserve?" she said wrapping her arms around his stomach under his coat; it was warm back there and her hands warmed themselves on his back. He had jumped when she put them there originally, but gently smiled as she rubbed them against the soft material to warm them.

"Joey, you are so smart, so beautiful, so talented, so amazing," he swallowed a lump in his throat; he put his arms around her and brought her closer to him in a warm bear hug. " You deserve someone who will treat you like a queen, make you happy, never hurt you. Never even think about hurting you," Pacey took a deep breath and continued. "Someone who makes you laugh and tells you every day just how lucky they are just to be within the air that you breathe," he lowered his lips to her head as he talked and kissed it. He rested his chin on her head continued. "Someone who cares for you so much that they would do anything, anything at all for you, just to make you smile, no matter how it much cost them or how stupid it made them look. Someone who is your friend, who will look after you, no matter what the circumstances are. Someone who will provide for you and tell you every day of your life how beautiful, amazing and special you are," Pacey moved his eyes to her and smiled softly at her, he looked into her deep eyes and swept some snowflakes off her hair. He wished he could stand in this moment in time forever, it felt right. Holding her in his arms, sheltering her from the cold night was making him weak; he could imagine being with her like this all night, not even moving from this spot, just standing on the sidewalk with the beautiful girl holding her forever. "You deserve someone who would do anything to stop losing the grip on you, who couldn't contemplate or manage to spend one hour apart from you, let alone one lifetime apart from you. Someone who deserves you. Someone who will tell you that your eyes are so deeply entrancing they're scared to look at them in fear that they would fall into them and get lost in you," Pacey told her truthfully. He was getting lost in her depths and words were coming out of his mouth that weren't meant to come out. They were the things he felt and definitely not the things he should be telling her, but he couldn't stop, the moment had mesmerized him. " Garry is none of those things Joey, not by a long, long way," it was then Pacey realized she was looking at him. Her eyes were in an intense stare and she had nothing to say. She opened her mouth but no words came out. She thought about his words, his beautiful heartfelt words. The feeling that someone would think she deserved all that was breathtaking.

"I…" Joey finally managed to speak after a few moments of intense staring into his ocean eyes, his big blue ocean-like eyes, deeper and clearer than anything else ever imagined, deeper than any water she had ever sailed on and bluer than any sky she had ever seen. She stuttered. "I think that is the most beautiful thing I have heard anyone say to me, or about me," Joey fell silent and smiled to him. Pulling one of her hands from his embrace she placed it on his cheek, running her hand down the soft skin slowly she knew she loved him. "I think it may be the most beautiful words I have ever heard about anyone. And I don't quite understand why you would say such beautiful things about me," she said as she ran her thumb over his lips. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. Her hands were warm against his cold lips, they sent a river of sunshine over them and he wished he could just kiss her with them, he remembered he couldn't. "What even made you think those things about me?" She asked still taken back by his flattering words.

"Because you deserve every one of those things I said and every single thing I said about you is true," Pacey opened his eyes and paused, looking at her. "You deserve more than anyone can give you and in my eyes no one is good enough for you," Pacey said honestly. It was true. No one he knew was good enough for Josephine Potter, and anyone who thought they were had made a mistake. That was yet another reason that he could not be with her, he would not be good enough for a girl like that. He would never be able to satisfy a woman like Josephine Potter or deserve her in any way, shape, or form.

"Pacey?" She smiled at him and kissed his cheek softly. "You are such a charmer aren't you? I mean no one else could make me melt in the snow but you," she said blushing at her words. If she wasn't aware of the very obvious line in the ground and the repercussions of crossing it, she would have crossed it right there and then. She wanted just to lean closer to him and kiss him, taste him; she wondered what he tasted like. How did he kiss? Were his kisses sweet? Were they slow and intense? She imagined they were sweet just by the way he would kiss her hand. It was near impossible to be around him now, ever since they had spent the summer together she had found him the best person to spend her time with. But now it was just unbearable, all she wanted was him, he was out of reach and way out of bounds. He was her Achilles heel; there was not a doubt about it in her mind. They were forced out of their stare when they heard a familiar, high-pitched voice shouting across the street. She recognized that voice anywhere; it was like scratching nails down a blackboard, it had the same effect on her. It was Andie.

"Pacey! Joey!" Andie shouted running across the road with Garry, they were definitely not dressed for the night's activities. Garry was wearing black dress trousers and a green shirt, whilst Andie wore a pretty pink skirt and blue twin set; it was pretty and everything but not right for that night. Joey pried herself away from Pacey's warm embrace and wrapped her arms around herself to try and make up for the loss of his touch. There was no comparison, she missed his arms, his strong arms around her, warming her, and she wanted them back. "Sorry we're late Garry is so vain!" Andie said looking pointedly at him, he was smart alright but something about him wasn't right, his eyes were cold and untrustworthy, plus he was at least an inch shorter than Joey and that was just humiliating for her. She had always been a tall girl and hated short men, if he had put his arms around her right them he wouldn't have even come to her eye level, she hated that.

"Joey, you're looking particularly nice tonight," Gary said, touching his slimy lips to her hand and kissing it. It seemed more of a sleaze-worthy gesture than a nice one, she felt his tongue come into contact with her flesh, making her skin crawl, she quickly whipped her hand away from him and wiped it on her trouser leg.

"We should go or we'll miss the movie," Joey said, walking in front of the group and into the movie theatre, coming face to face with Dawson, Jen and Jack. She almost bumped into them literally. "Hey guys, what are you doing here?" She asked them intrigued. They said they were studying tonight.

"Oh we just came to catch a study break," Dawson said looking at Andie, her hand clutched onto Pacey's tightly and she snuggled into him on the sight of him. "ET is showing, can you believe it ET!" Dawson exclaimed excitedly.

"Oh wow," Joey said not enthusiastically. "Because it's good to come and see a movie you never saw before isn't it?" Her voice drowned in its own sarcasm, Dawson was so predictable. "So where's the mystery woman tonight Dawson?" Joey asked, he knew he got touchy about it in public and she loved to watch him squirm.

"Err, she's err…" Dawson said, he was squirming just the way she liked it, Joey exchanged a look with Pacey and laughed.

"Don't worry Dawson I'm just teasing, we have to go, movie is starting in a few minutes and we wouldn't want you to miss the beginning of ET would we?" Joey told him as she walked beside Garry into the movie theatre. Pacey and Andie followed behind them and chose a seat at the back, three rows from the back. She loved sitting there with Pacey; every time they came they would sit at the back and throw popcorn at people. When their victims looked back to see who it was Pacey would turn as if to kiss her so they didn't know who it was. The memory made her laugh and Garry looked at her weirdly.

"Do we have popcorn?" Pacey asked, giving Joey a knowing look, who just smiled, it was amazing they were thinking the same thing at the exact same time. They had been in such a rush to get in the theatre that they had actually forgotten the popcorn. Pacey noticed this "We have no popcorn!" Pacey announced in disbelief. "I'll go get some," He offered, standing up from the seat he had just sat down in.

"Don't worry Pacey" Andie told him. "I'll go, I'm closer," she said getting up from her seat at the end and walking out into the lobby. Seeing Dawson she walked over to him and smiled. "Hey," she whispered to him. "How are you?" She asked nervously.

"I'm fine, I miss you," Dawson told her softly touching her cheek; she quickly moved her head away from his hand.

"Not here Dawson!" She said through gritted teeth. "Pacey's right in there y'know or hadn't you noticed?" She asked him looking around nervously. "And he's already suspicious, the other day he asked me if I was having an affair, I had to say no I couldn't admit to it. So just cool things okay?" She suggested tensely.

"I know, I know. But what can one kiss do?" He asked her moving closer to her. "There is no one in the lobby, we're alone. One kiss can't hurt," He suggested, swiping the hair out of her face and kissing her softly on the lips, entrapping her mouth in a searing kiss. She pulled away quickly after a moment and composed herself walking away without a word to him, smiling back she mouthed to him. 'Tomorrow'

Jen stood by the doors to the ladies bathroom and covered her mouth in shock. Did she just see what she thought she had seen? 

Pacey skated on the ice, shooting around smoothly with expertise, the frozen water beneath him sped by as he skated competently and successfully in a figure eight, people watched him as he commanded the ice underneath him. He sped over to the boards where Andie, Joey, and Garry were sitting in the seats. He came to a halt in his skates deliberately showering them with ice and smiled. Andie scowled at him for doing it but Joey just laughed at him. Pacey had loved the ice ever since he was small and loved ice hockey, he was pretty good. 

"Come on Andie want to have a skate around with me?" He asked her, leaning on the boards, she just shook her head at him. "Please McPhee?" He complained. She really was no fun tonight. "Garry, come on you going to show your cousin how it's done?" He suggested to him.

"Sorry Pacey, I can't skate and I have no intention in making a fool out of myself in front of the lovely Joey," he said sternly. He softened his look and glanced at Joey, she visibly shivered, that look was chilling. It made her feel dirty almost.

"Don't worry about making a fool out of yourself. I make a fool out of myself all the time," Pacey laughed and offered his hand to Joey. "Well excuse me then Garry, I'm just going to steal your date," he smiled and lifted Joey over the boards and onto the ice; she smiled as he lifted her over. Putting her feet onto the ice she clung to Pacey's strong shoulders until she steadied herself, she hadn't skated for over a year and was rusty to say the least. "Come on toots, show them how it's done," Pacey said playfully skating away from her speedily.

"Hey come back!" Joey shouted skating after him quickly and crashing into him, pressing him against the boards deliberately. "Don't you think you can get away from me Witter! I will always get you in the end, you know that don't you?" She said playfully, with a secret double meaning. "You cannot just run away from Joey potter without a little bit of pain," she threatened him, he just looked at her sideways and laughed, breaking her hold her skated away laughing cruelly. "Hey Witter get your cute little ass back here!" Joey shouted at him, chasing him again. She stopped when she saw him skate very quickly towards her. She thought he was going to pass her like a shot of lightening but instead, as he was passing, he leant over grabbed her and threw her over his shoulder, taking her with him as he continued to skate. "Put me down you Neanderthal!" She screamed trying to sound serious but failing miserably.

"You said I had a cute little ass," Pacey said smugly and waved over to Andie who just scowled at him. "Uh oh Joey, I'm in trouble," he said still skating with her. "Andie isn't a happy bunny, she's scowling at me and I think she's pissed off. She's jealous, I can tell," he told her putting her down finally. She just smiled at him and skated off, but he was not going to let her get away that easy. He ignored Andie's look and started to skate after her. Andie only had herself to blame, if she had came on the ice with him she would have had fun too instead of sitting scowling on the sidelines. 

"Jealous much?" Garry asked Andie on the sidelines. He looked at her scowl and laughed in his throat. Andie was a very jealous person.

"What?" Andie asked him with attitude. "No way, why would I be jealous of her!" Andie said looking at Joey and Pacey playing on the ice. She hated Joey; she always had, with her long legs, big eyes, and dark hair. She had admired Joey in the beginning for being an artist but then started to hate her quickly when she saw how well she knew Pacey. "I have nothing to worry about, they're just friends and even if she had more in mind Pacey loves me, not her, me!" Andie said brutally, trying to convince herself more than anyone else. "So why would I be jealous?" She finished, she knew she was jealous. How dare Joey Potter flirt so outrageously with her boyfriend!

"Well maybe because they haven't stopped their little game all night. I mean every time I do what he does she squirms away. I went to put my arm around her and she shrugged it off as if it was nothing. She's so in love with him that she can't even imagine anyone else," Garry said a little annoyed. He was going to get Joey Potter to be his if it killed him. No girl had not wanted him before and this was going to be no exception.

"Well she's just going to get hurt because there is no way Pacey would leave me. Not now," Andie said looking out at them. "I need to go to the bathroom," Andie said hastily as she got up and headed in the direction on the Bathroom.

On the ice, Pacey continued to chase Joey, grabbing onto her small waist he pulled her to a halt. He took her hand, skated to the side with her, and bit his lip, thinking. "Joey? Do remember when we were seven?" He asked her and her eyes grew wide, she knew what was coming.

"No Pacey! No way in hell!" She told him harshly, there is no way she was going to do what he was suggesting. She shook her head furiously and he looked at her with his puppy dog eyes. She looked at him; he was trying to change her mind. "No, don't look at me like that!" Joey moaned at him, he was effecting her with those eyes and he knew it. Even before her attraction to him, she never could refuse those big eyes. She turned her head away from him and skated off quickly, hoping to get the idea out of his mind. He followed her and kept looking at her, his puppy dog eyes and his lip stuck out, she knew his next step would be the whimpering, she looked away and tried to get away from him, but he followed her. "Pacey! No way! I am not doing that we will hurt ourselves, it was ten years ago. No!" She refused and it started. He whimpered at her with his puppy eyes and his stuck out lip. She avoided his glance again, but he followed and she stopped, she knew she was fighting a battle she would only lose. "Fine!" He had succeeded. "But if I hurt myself I blame you. I' will hold you personally responsible if I break my legs. And if I do break my legs you will have to carry me to the hospital, and it will be your job to scratch my leg with a ruler when it itches." she smiled.

"I will, but you won't break your legs," he promised skating backwards. "Trust me!" He shouted as she skated fast towards him. He leant down and placed one hand on each thigh, lifting her to the air in a small split, carrying her as he skated in tight circles. Putting her down, he smiled at her. "See?" He grinned widely, his smile lighting up the arena. "I still got it!" He quipped before widening his eyes in horror. "Watch out Joey!" He said warning her. He could see someone skating down the ice towards her back, but it was too late because the man crashed into her causing her to fall, trapping Pacey between her warm body and the cold ice. "Ow!" He said jaggedly. "I'm not gonna say that didn't hurt," Pacey said almost in a whisper.

"Are you okay?" Joey asked, trying to sound serious and concerned but a little amused by it all and he could tell. His face was wrinkled up in discomfort, she, on the other hand was very comfortable, she enjoyed the closeness. There was no mistaking the warmth of his body and the way their body's fitted together like a jigsaw puzzle.

"My ass, my beautiful ass, I have a bruised ass," he moaned and looked at her. "It's not funny, my ass really hurts!" He complained. "You should kiss it better, that always helps," he smirked and received a slap on the arm from Joey for his trouble. 

"I will not kiss your but!" Joey said laughing through her words. Pacey was just terrible, trust him to make her laugh like this. They had been lying on the ice for a while now and she could imagine Andie's face, red with anger. She laughed at the thought; Andie looked so funny when she was angry. However, if she had come onto the ice it could have been Andie, who was lying on top of him instead of her, though she was glad she hadn't.

"I bet Andie is pissed at this," Pacey laughed. "She doesn't like it when gorgeous women throw themselves at me," he smiled. This was not a bad position to be in, despite the face that his but was badly bruised and his back was going numb from the coldness of the ice, he couldn't move, he wanted to stay there. He wanted to stay there close with her, their faces an inch apart, he could feel her breath on his cold skin.

"I fell!" Joey protested. "I did not throw myself at you!" She pointed at the man who knocked them over. "He threw me at you!" She said seriously then laughed. "We should probably get up," Joey suggested.

"I don't know," Pacey pondered, putting his hands on her hips. "I like this, its comfortable," he said seriously. "Plus maybe if Andie is jealous she would get annoyed and ignore me so I don't have to hear her talk to me," he laughed. "Ok we should get up," he finely decided after a few moments.

"Come on," Joey said standing up and pulling him to his feet. "How's the ass?" She asked, humour in her voice, he smiled to her and laughed gently. "I'm going to the bathroom, I need to wash my wound," Joey said, she hadn't noticed because of the cold of the ice but she had a cut on her hand that stung. She held it out for him to see he took it in his hand and inspected it, close to his face; his tongue stuck out of his mouth and curled up as he concentrated. Joey smiled inwardly, thinking about him and how intense he looked. Pacey inspected it closer and frowned worriedly.

"Are you okay that's a skate cut y'know?" He asked her, from experience he knew she had caught her hand on another skate, the cut wasn't deep, but it looked sore. He inspected it carefully some more, he hated seeing her hurt, even if it was just a small cut. Her delicate hand had been injured and blood ran down the crease in her hand, he looked at it with a worried look once more and kissed it for good measure. "There you go, that will heal it, I have magic lips y'know?" He smiled at her and she returned it.

"I'm sure it will magically heal it," she paused. "Well that and the fact that the body heals cuts naturally anyway," she smirked. He was sweet to care about a cut and it made her feel special. For one moment, she felt as though she was the only person in the world. "Well I'm going to go and wash it," she said skating off the ice and into the bathroom. She met Andie standing beside the mirrors re-applying her make up. Andie wore a lot of make up, way more than she did. "Hi Andie," she said casually. Andie glanced at her coldly and ignored her continuing to put make up on her face. "What is that for?" Joey asked surprised, Andie had been expressing dislike for her all night.

"What's what for?" Andie asked her, watching her clean the cut on her hand.

"The look of ice you're giving me and the whole attitude!" Joey said wiping her hands and looking at Andie with annoyance. Andie was pushing her hard and she knew it.

"What look? What attitude?" Andie asked knowing just what she meant; she was not going to admit that she was jealous of her.

"Don't play dumb with me Blondie!" Joey accused harshly; girls in the bathroom nudged each other and watched as the situation unfolded. "The look of steel, the look of ice daggers you know the look I mean and the have a major attitude problem tonight! It's either an attitude problem or you need an enema!" Joey almost shouted at her. Andie was annoying her tonight and she was just pushing her too far

"If you must know Little Miss White Trash!" Andie replied hurtfully. "I can't stand you tonight, draping yourself over my boyfriend all night. Giving him those little glances you think no one notices and now throwing yourself at him on the ice! Do not think I did not see you fall into him. I see right through you!" Andie spat her words at her. Joey listened to those words and they made a bolt of anger shoot through her body.

"What do you mean!" Joey asked angrily. "Someone pushed me into him Andie!" Joey narrowed her eyes at her, she was being a bitch, and she knew it. There was no way she was going to let someone talk to her like that.

"Yeah but I didn't see you hurrying to get off him either!" Andie hissed. "Are you sleeping with Pacey?" she asked unexpectedly.

"What!" Joey shouted angrily, she could not believe her ears. "No! Of course not!" Joey bit back; the girls in the bathroom were looking in excitement and had given them some space to confront each other. "He would never cheat on you, he wouldn't cheat on anyone. Because unlike you he has a heart of gold!" Joey argued. She couldn't believe what she was being accused of, after what she had done to him.

"Come on, if you're not sleeping with him why does he stay at your place every night?" Andie asked. Andie still did not know about the face Pacey had moved out of home. She needed answers.

"Maybe that's something you should ask him, but I am not sleeping with him. Unlike you he doesn't sleep around!" Joey bit harshly, she knew it was mean but it was relevant. All the girls in the bathroom let out shocked gasps, this was exciting them. A real cat fight.

"What was that comment supposed to mean!" Andie asked angrily. She couldn't possibly know about Dawson and her, she couldn't it was impossible. 

"You slept with that guy in providence and you're seeing someone behind his back right now and I won't stand by and watch you hurt him again!" Joey bellowed, her words echoed around the bathroom, hitting of the tiles and reverberating several times before it finally ceased.

"I explained the providence thing to him, that's all done and forgotten. And I am not cheating on him now Joey!" Andie shouted to her. She was going to shut her face or get a fist into it.

"You are cheating on him, I am going to find out whom and I'm going to prove it!" Joey shouted "I will not let you hurt him again; I won't let you kill him, put him down and make him feel worthless again!" Joey warned her. "And I'm telling you now, if you hurt him I am going to come down on you so hard and so fast you won't know what hit you!" Joey screamed threateningly. She had the urge to hit her right now but there would be no way to explain it.

"Just because you're in love with him it doesn't mean you can have him. You can't have him, he's mine we have been through so much together and we're not going to break up!" Andie told her in a harsh tone. "I know him better than you, I know what he's like and he would never have the guts to break up with me because he loves me and I am safe!" Andie told her harshly and watch and Joey shook her head in disagreement.

"Y'know what Andie! I may be in love with your boyfriend but I know I cannot have him, because he is yours. But just you remember he tells me everything he thinks and everything he feels and when you break his heart again he will come to me to put him back together again!" Joey bit at her. "And even if he never loves me, I will always be the one he knows believes in him and loves him, for who and what he is. You tried to change him from what he was I would never want that, how can he love someone who tries to change him. Moreover, how can you say you love him if you try to change who he is? I accept him. I have known him since we were three years old. Pacey and me have a bond even I cannot explain. You if you think that you know him better you are mistaken!" Joey shouted before walking out the bathroom.

"Yes you walk away you piece of trash! That's all you are trash!" Andie screamed but was surprised when Joey walked back and slapped her face before continuing to walk out.

"Bitch" Joey muttered under her breath as she walked past Pacey and Garry "Night Pacey, Night Garry" Joey said moodily, before walking past them, taking her skates off at the door and getting her own shoes back.

"Joey?" Pacey asked confused as she walked past her, he was worried about her. "Joey!" He shouted after her, running after her, grabbing her arm, he saw tears in her large eyes; she wiped them quickly and turned away from him. "Joey what happened are you okay?" He questioned her worriedly.

"I'm fine Pacey, but I'm going home. I am not going to stay here and listen to that, that…" She couldn't find her words. "I am not staying I am going," she said breaking away from him. Andie was right, she was white trash, and she wasn't good enough for him even if he did want her. She was just a girl, with a dead mother, and a jailbird father living on the wrong side of the creek.

"How are you going to get home?" Pacey asked her running beside her, luckily he had his own skates, he followed her out the door.

"I will walk," Joey said stubbornly carrying her shoes in her hand. "Tell Garry thanks for a nice night," she said walking away from him.

"Joey!" Pacey ran after her again and stopped her, placing his hands on her tear stained cheeks he looked to her hurt eyes. "What happened?" He asked softly looking at her, something had upset her seriously and he needed to talk to her, he could not bear to see her like this.

"Nothing okay? If you want to know ask your Ivy League girlfriend!" Joey said harshly before walking away, he caught up with her but she brushed his touch away. "Go and finish your date, tell Garry I'm sorry and don't follow me. I'll see you at home," She said before walking off leaving him in the street.

"Joey!" He shouted down the street but she just kept walking, he thought about following her but decided against it. He needed to go inside and talk to Andie; there was no way he was going to let her get away with whatever it was she had done. 


End file.
